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Post by Regatta on Apr 4, 2009 8:04:10 GMT -5
((For Bull.))
She yanks him out of the bag and plops him on the ground. She adjusts his itchy puce sweater with great care, and fixes a looped rope around his neck. "Behave now, yeah? I know you're usually good in here, but, it's important that I not loose focus." In regular situations, that would entice him to do everything he could to make her loose focus. But since they were in the necropolis, he would make an exception. *Meow* His head whipped around. *snort* (Director's Note: The following conversation has been painstakingly translated, with great care, from pig and cat to Orcish and Common. This cost us a great deal of coin, so the production values of this particular adventure are quite low.)
"YOU!" "Bigglesworth? What the hell are you doing here?" "I'm a 'Pet' now. Rather insulting." "I know what you mean." Zuckerman gestures toward The Dead Girl. "You too? Damn it." Bigglesworth gestures to the readying raid, "Think they can make it stick this time?" "Bigglesworth, my old friend, if you wish to ask for my assistance..." "Please, I am the one who has gotten you out of messes time and again..." "...you need only ask." "Looks like a cushy gig you've got there." "Oh indeed it is. 3 squares, 2 snacks... quite a bit of freedom... when she sleeps." "What's with that hideous sweater?" "That's part of the conditions of the contract. Also, I have to sleep in a cage." "Hmm...where do you stay?" "We have rooms all over the place. Orgrimmar, Lower City Shattrath, Dalaran..." "Ohh Dalaran is cush..." "We have some nice rooms there. Best place we've lived so far." "Any abominations live there?" "Not unless you count the Death Knight." "I don't. But, they're a nuisance too." "He's ok. Sucks at chess though." "You've convinced me. But first..." He trails off, looking off into the distance. "I wasn't trying to convince you, but, as you are an old friend, in a similar predicament, how can I refuse?"
At that moment, a very focused Dead Girl yanks the rope around his neck, and starts running for the Military Quarter. Strained, Zuckerman calls back, "Start prepping your end, it won't take too long." But all that Regatta heard was: *Suqeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllll!!!*
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Post by Regatta on Apr 7, 2009 18:55:06 GMT -5
When Regatta dragged herself out of Naxxaramas later that evening, exhausted, covered in goo, hungry, and a little grumpy, Zuckerman stayed behind. She didn't notice. They had left the dragon, and the Lich alive. Apparently, they had other things to do. All the better for Zuckerman. And Bigglesworth, if he had to be counted (and he insisted he did).
"Right, are you ready?" "Why didn't they kill him? It'd make things easier for us. Why don't we wait until they come kill him?" "Well, it never sitcks. He's back every flipping week. How does that happen?" "I dunno. It's annoying though. Maybe a potion, or something?" The cat shrugs. "Huh. Well, they keep killing you. How do you keep coming back?" "Yeah, why do they do that?" The pig shrugs. "Kel'Thuzad brings me back. He 'loves' me enough to bring me back from the dead, but not enough to give me a pillow to sleep on, or some decent food?" "Well, he'll regret it." The cat grins. It would be mildly unsettling if one thought cats only ever had the purest of motives. "Let's get to work." ***************************************************************** They stood staring at the pile of bones for quite a long time. "Is it dead?" "Technically." "Will it give us any trouble?" "Maybe." Zuckerman trotted up to the skull, and leaned in close. "Pssst..." WHAT DO YOU WANT Zuckerman pulled his head back sharply. "Did you hear that?" "Hear what?" I AM ONLY SPEAKING TO YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT "Um... I'm here.. to free Bigglesworth?" THE CAT? "Yesss?" Bigglesworth stared at Zuckerman with a growing fear that he may have made a mistake in pinning all of his hopes on one insane pig. WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT "Doing what?" PHRASING ALL OF YOUR ANSWERS AS QUESTIONS IT'S ANNOYING "I'll stop." GOOD NOW, HOW DO YOU INTEND TO FREE THE CAT "We're going to slay Kel'thuzad? I mean... We're going to slay Kel'Thuzad." DID YOU INTEND TO SLAY ME AS WELL "Well... um.. no? No. No we didn't?" DID YOU OR DIDN'T YOU Zuckerman turned to Bigglesworth. "He wants to know if we intended to slay him too." Bigglesworth raised his paw and pointed at Zuckerman. "Let's go with No." Zuckerman nodded and turned back to the bones. "No." BUT YOU ARE PLANNING TO KILL THE LICH "Right." KICK HIM IN THE NUTS FOR ME Zuckerman snorted. "Will do." He gestured toward the entrance to Kel'Thuzad's chambers. "Let's get to work." "What'd he say?" "He wants us to kick him in the nuts." "Oh. I don't think he has nuts." "Then we'll kick him in the face instead."
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Post by Regatta on Apr 13, 2009 9:49:00 GMT -5
"I don't know if we'll be able to kick him in the face... he's pretty tall.. maybe if we knock him down first" Zuckerman sighed and turned to face his friend. "Bigglesworth. Do you want to get out of here? Go live with in relative luxury, three squares a day, fluffy pillow to sleep on? Heat in every room?" "Ohh.... yeah that sounds pretty fantastic..." "Then you are going to need to have more of a "Can Do" attitude, as opposed to your "No Can Do" attitude". It's always been your weak point." "Since when are you a motivational speaker?" "Bigglesworth..." "You suck at it you know." "Are you done now? Can we do this thing?" The cat pauses and puts a paw on his chin, thinking deeply. "Yeah. Let's do this thing." *************************************************************************************** The life of a Lich is pretty dull, there's the waves of adventuring parties that throw themselves at him, but they're all considerate enough to schedule before hand (with his secretary, Gladys). He flipped through his schedule book. He was empty until three, when he had a meeting with Thaddius about the brownouts they've been having recently. "Well if you'd lay off the charges we wouldn't have to keep kidnapping those Goblins engineers to come fix it would we?" He huffed petulantly. At least he had some time to himself, maybe he'd take a nice cold bath, or have a comforting iced tea. Instead, he cracked open that famed Gnomish Gossip rag, "Short on Time", to read about the hilarious downfall of Lady Katrana Prestor née Onyxia. Just as he was getting to the juicy bits, that allege a torrid affair with one Lord Bolvar Fordragon, he heard a scuffling, and a mew. "Oh! Mr. Bigglesworth! Have you come for a cuddle? Perhaps a scrith behind your cute fwuffy wuffy ears? You've brought a friend! Oh a sweet wittle piggy wiggy! Hewoooo wittle fewa!" The Lich bends down to lavish affection on the animals, and stops. "That sweater... it looks so familiar... Have I seen you before Pig? With a group of loud and bawdy adventurers? One of them is constantly yelling about roosters...I think they're mentally affected.." It was at that moment, while Kel'Thuzad was lost deep in thought, thinking about roosters, paladins yelling about books, and trees that tell awful jokes, that Bigglesworth, in a fury of claws and teeth, leapt at his face. "Oh my Gaa..... BIGGLESWORTH!!! What are you doing?! Those are my eyes!!!!!" While Bigglesworth snarled, hissed, scratched and shed all over Kel'Thuzad's face, Zuckerman went for his ankles, only to find there were none. But he was not deterred, he just jumped a little higher, and caught one of his fingers. "Ahhh!!! Why are you doing this to me?!" The Lich began shaking his head and hand wildly, and managed to dislodge the pig into a pile of bones neatly laid out to the side of the room. With his hands free, he pried the snarling cat from his face and dropped him on the floor. Bigglesworth arched his back, and began a low, growl. "What has gotten into you?" The cat let out a hiss and growl to show his displeasure. "After all I've done for you!" Kel'Thuzad covered his face with both hands and ran into his chambers, slamming the door behind him. Zuckerman walked up to Bigglesworth. "What a sissy. No wonder those goofballs The Dead Girl runs with can kill him so easily." Bigglesworth turned to Zuckerman. "I feel kind of bad now." "Don't. His kind, they like to run all over the world, killing people, reanimating the dead, but they just ignore the consequences of their actions. I mean, I like mayhem just as much as the next pig, but come on. Even I think raising an army of the dead and killing everything in sight is going a bit overboard." "Hmm. Let's get out of here." Out of the corner of his eye, Zuckerman spied something. "Yeah, one second." He ran over, and grabbed what caught his eye. "A'ight. et's go." "You shouldn't talk with your mouth full you know." Zuckerman snorted. On the way out, they noticed a tail slink around the corner to the spider wing. "I can't believe it. I'm not even out of the Necropolis, and he's already replaced me!" Zuckerman shrugged. "at oo ew esmect? E's a ich!" Bigglesworth nodded. "Yeah. Nothing should surprise me anymore." ********************************************************************************************************** "Your pig is home." "mm? Wha?" Regatta pulled the blankets down from her face. "Who?" "Your pig. He's home." "He wasn't before?" "No. You came back without him. Said he would turn up by morning and you were going to bed." "So I was right. He did show up." "Yes." "Well then why are you waking me up?" "Because he's not alone." A jolt of sheer terror roused Regatta from her half asleep state. She sat up. Wide eyed, she looked at John, and whispered, "What do you mean, 'He's not alone"? He whispered back, "Why are we whispering?" "Because I don't want him to hear us!!" She was incredulous. Honestly. You'd think he had no sense of self preservation. "It's just a cat Regina." She had to admit, of all the things Zuckerman would bring home, a cat was not what she was expecting. "A cat?" She climbed out of bed, crept to the door, and slowly peeked around the doorway. Zuckerman was in his cage, and a small Siamese cat was preparing to sprawl on the cushion in front of the fireplace. Regatta stood up, straightened her night gown, and walked in. She glared at Zuckerman. "I see you finally decided to come home." *snort* "You brought a friend." The cat wandered over to her, purring. He rubbed his head against her ankles. She bent down and gave him a tentative scratch behind the ears. He was very appreciative. "Oh he's cute." John leaned down, and ran a finger down the cat's back. "He is. Sweet little thing. What will you call him?" "Why don't you name him?" A mildly malicious grin spread across the Death Knight's face. "Why don't we call him Mr. Bigglesworth?" The cat looked at him. "What? That's a ridiculous name for a cat!" He turned to Regatta and smiled. "Maybe you're right. How about Basil instead?" "Oh I like Basil! That's much better John." "I'm glad you like it." Regatta picked up Bigglesworth, newly named Basil, and carried him over to the empty pillow by the fire. "Basil, here's your bed! This is your new home." She set him gently on the pillow, where he curled up and promptly fell asleep. "Now it's time to deal with you." She looked over at Zuckerman. "I am going to go way out on a limb and assume you brought him here so he could be safe and have a happy home, instead of for some diabolical plan." *grunt* She patted his head. "Thank you for being kind." She kissed his head. Then turned to John. "So, where's this book he brought back?" John handed her a wet, heavily chewed book. "Oh... It's Miss Dorri's book! Well, not her book, but the one she was looking for!" "It can be repaired." "Do you think so?" He smiled at her again, and kissed her forehead, she didn't feel the chill. "Everyone's home now. Back to sleep." Regatta set the book down, and covered a yawn with her hand. "All right. Good night wild things!" A quiet chorus of meows, clicks, slithers, skitters, squawks, a soft woof, and one slightly sleepy snort, said good night, right back.
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